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May 5, 2013

God directs Sullivan mayor to TV's off button

BLOUNTVILLE -- Following a National Day of Prayer tirade by Sullivan County Mayor Steve Godsey against President Obama and openly gay National Basketball Association player Jason Collins, the Creator of the Universe said in a statement today that television sets will now feature off buttons. "I have heard the complaint of my humble servant Steve Godsey and have added off buttons to all television sets," said the Lord of Hosts. "Steve will now be able to turn off his TV when he sees something that offends him. Perhaps with his newfound free time Steve could collect some food for the 12 percent of residents in his county living below the poverty line. I can probably get him a list of names if he needs it."

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