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July 17, 2014

Report: area menu options have not changed

According to a recent set of findings by No, You Have Not Provided Excellent Service Today, one area corporate telepharmautilitycard behemoth's menu options have not changed. The report noted that, despite an audible warning to please listen closely and that our menu options may have changed, those menu options are still the same ones they have been for nearly 12 years. "Our extensive data gathering indicates that you still need to press one if you are a pharmacy guest and wish to use express Rx for refills, that you should still dial three to report your card lost, stolen, or damaged, or for cash advance information, and that you must press or say four if you know your party's extension or name," said Greta Brewer, co-author of the report and vice-director of Why Can't I Just Push Zero and Talk to an Actual Human Being? The report also indicated that all calls are recorded for quality assurance, or at least management's own personal amusement.

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