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July 10, 2014

Knox County Mayor Tim Burchett to marry Bigfoot

Knox County Mayor Tim Burchett will soon be married to hairy, bipedal humanoid from the Pacific Northwest. Burchett plans to marry fiance Bigfoot in a ceremony this Friday on board a haunted UFO at a Terror in the Woods event at Ijams Nature Center. Both have been married before - Burchett to a woman from Blount County, the Sasquatch to an out of focus lake monster from Scotland. Burchett and the beast woman met in 2012 on the set of the Animal Planet TV show "Finding Bigfoot." "People told me, 'If you like Bigfoot so much, why don't you marry her?' so I am," Burchett told reporters. Wedding specialists expect traditional nuptials, but say the photographs will probably be extremely blurry.

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