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July 15, 2014

Actual football season to start in 48 days

Following Sunday's World Cup championship match featuring Germany and Argentina, the makers of real football announced today that actual football season will begin on Aug. 31, if we can all just hold on a little longer. "Look, this FIFA World Cup business is a nice game," said a spokesperson for actual football. "It was good to have something to do to whet our appetites. But in a few weeks we open the season against Utah State at Neyland Stadium." University of Tennessee fans took the news well. "I'm looking forward to the World Cup again in four years," said one actual football fan. "But Tennessee has four chances to win the national championship between now and then. I think the priorities are obvious." A spokesperson for actual football went on to say Go Vols!

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