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October 3, 2013

'We're all up for reelection in 2014,' House reminds voters

Three days after the United States Congress failed to fund the federal government because Obama, the House of Representatives reminded voters that they will all be up for reelection soon. "We want to remind the American people that every single voting member of the House of Representatives is up for reelection next year," said government shutdown supporter U.S. Rep. John J. Duncan Jr. "When you aren't able to go camping in the Smoky Mountains, or you are sent home on furlough and can't pay your mortgage, or you literally can't feed your infant because the Women, Infants and Children program has run out of money, please remember that we are consciously, deliberately choosing to do this to you. Because freedom." "I know voter turnout can be low sometimes, but I would like to encourage everyone to come out and vote next year," said shutdown enthusiast U.S. Rep Scott DesJarlais. "I can't think of a better reason for you to fire us than the fact that we are currently collecting paychecks while we adamantly refuse to do our jobs. We just want to remind you that you can unequivocally choose to furlough us forever in 396 short days."

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