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August 29, 2013

Forthcoming J.D. Salinger books somehow more pretentious than 'Seymour: An Introduction'

According to a biography detailing the life of reclusive author J.D. Salinger, as many as five new books by the writer will be published, all of which will be even more pretentious than his novella, "Seymour: An Introduction." "If you enjoyed the pompous, incomprehensible claptrap that was 'Seymour: An Introduction' then you are really going to be in for a treat," said one publishing industry insider. "The impending additions to the Salinger canon promise to be even bigger self-inflated wastes of time and space." One of the books carries the title "The Family Glass" and would contain five new Salinger stories about the fictional Glass family. "'Seymour: An Introduction' was originally published in 'The New Yorker,' presumably as a joke," said literary critic Tasmine Clark. "According to the four people who managed to finish reading it, the book has something to do with haikus and Eastern philosophy and, once again, the suicide of the character Seymour Glass. So I'm absolutely beside myself that I get to slog through another uninteresting spew of unreadable garbage." The first new Salinger book is expected to be published in 2015.

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