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July 4, 2013

Rain announces hatred of freedom

Liquid precipitation in the form of droplets announced today its distaste for liberty, freedom and America. The type of weather said there is a 100 percent chance that it will fall across the East Tennessee region today, canceling many Independence Day celebrations and forcing residents to spend the day indoors with their families. "I do not care for freedom," rain said. "I'm tired of all this cheerleading and rhetoric about America." "Rain is not very patriotic," said Knoxville patriot Jimmy Verbick. "For some reason many, if not most, elitist rain storms feel embarrassed to admit they live in such a wonderful country. Rain has been taken over by Socialists and Marxists that want to destroy this country. Needless to say, patriotic speech and actions are not in rain's playbook."

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