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July 28, 2013

Fountain City ducks apprehend bear wandering through West Knoxville

A gang of Fountain City ducks Saturday captured a black bear that had been spotted in West Knoxville. The Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency had been alerted to the presence of the bear, last seen in the area of Lovell Road, Pellissippi Parkway and Schaeffer Road Friday. The waterfowl said they acted after three TWRA officers failed to capture the bear in a timely manner. "If the police can't protect us, we're going to take matters into our own hands, metaphorically speaking" said a spokesmallard for the ducks. "These ducks are nothing but vigilantes," said TWRA spokesperson Dana Abray. "They have been terrorizing the people of Fountain City for years. In fact, we're pretty sure they were only interested in the bear's picnic basket. These ducks aren't heroes."

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