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June 16, 2013

Downtown church to attend building demolition workshop hosted by UT

A downtown church seeking to demolish buildings at 710 and 712 Walnut Street announced today that it will be attending a demolition workshop hosted by the University of Tennessee. The workshop, to be held Saturday, June 22, will train the church on how to best destroy historic buildings despite the objections of its neighbors and its neighborhood. "They own these buildings, so they can do whatever we want," said Grant Dickie, UT's vice chancellor for destroying historic buildings. "And what they want is to create five more parking spots. We're going to show them how to do it. And besides, the best way to reach out to your community with the love of Jesus is to give them a nice, metaphorical middle finger." Church parishioner Larry Milsap agreed. "Anyone who has read the Old Testament knows God enjoys knocking down buildings. And He loves not having to walk two whole blocks from the Locust Street Garage to get to church on Sunday. Two blocks is such a long way."

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