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February 17, 2013

Tennessee trades Georgia water for SEC wins, baskets of peaches

Tennessee lawmakers say they resolved a tense border dispute with Georgia late Friday afternoon. State officials have agreed to give Georgia access to the Tennessee River at Nickajack Lake. In exchange, the Volunteers will collect 15 consecutive SEC football wins over the Bulldogs. Tennessee residents will also receive all the deliciously juicy, sweet Georgia peaches they can eat. At issue was the northern border of Georgia and the southern border of Tennessee, which according to Georgia Rep. Harry Geisinger was "established at the 35th parallel of north latitude and would have been located on the northernmost bank of the Tennessee River at Nickajack." Tennessee fans say they are pleased by the turn of events. "This will ensure that we have at least one key SEC victory for the next several years," said Tennessee House Majority Leader Gerald McCormick, R-Chattanooga. "Plus millions of peaches, peaches for me. Millions of peaches, peaches for free. That's better than the filthy swill that comes out of the Tennessee River any day."

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