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February 24, 2013

Knoxville iPhone seized in nuisance raid

A North Knoxville phone was seized today by local authorities who declared it a public nuisance due to never vacating an area woman's hands. The Knoxville Police Department served a warrant on Kellen Ferry's iPhone, formally of Kellen Ferry's desperate, clutching fingers. Criminal Court Judge Rebecca Shinault issued a nuisance injunction against property owner Kellen Ferry. Undercover officers witnessed the screen of the handheld communication device being tapped and flicked during 75 percent of three recent social outings. Confidential informants also witnessed Ferry pretending to text friends so as not to have to engage with reality. The phone's owner will appear at a hearing before Shinault Wednesday. If Shinault grants the district attorney's request, the phone will be run over by a cement truck and then thrown into the Tennessee River.

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