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December 21, 2012

Naughty and nice list details leaked, North Pole says

According to a spokesperson for the North Pole, Santa Claus' naughty and nice lists have been hit by hackers, potentially exposing tens of thousands of account holders to fraud. Suspicion has fallen on the coal industry, which has long been jealous of the burgeoning Christmas stocking market. Santa Claus operates his own coal mining operation at the North Pole and has refused to purchase the combustible sedimentary rock from existing coal mining conglomerates.

The security breach at Santa's Workshop is the latest in a series of data attacks that have amplified concerns about identity theft. The magical gift giving industry has been increasingly susceptible to these concerns amid a rise in breaches in recent years. For example, in 2009 hundreds of files kept by the Tooth Fairy were leaked to the American Dental Association. Four out of five dentists were implicated in the breach.

The extent of the most recent leak has not yet been determined and it wasn't immediately clear if the energy industry will begin selling coal door to door. The North Pole has declined to say how many names were at risk, but elves familiar with the investigation estimated that it could be in the tens of thousands.

Parents have voiced their concerns.

"Maybe my children are on the naughty list," said Knoxville mother Theresa Minnich. "Maybe they're on the nice list. But that's between my family and Santa. This is private information that should not fall into the hands of the coal industry."

North Pole officials have said they are working to rectify the situation.

"Santa made his list and checked it twice," said the North Pole in a statement. "But evidently a few elves didn't check our firewalls. We will be doing everything in our power to correct this error. So you'd better not cry. You'd better not pout. I'm telling you why."

Some sources, who have spoken on condition of anonymity, have said that a disgruntled Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer has been taken in for questioning.

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