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November 20, 2012

Pigeon Forge man's colon opens Twinkie museum

Jacob Bicknese's colon knew when it was 10-years-old that it wanted to eat Twinkies. Today the five-foot-long member of the digestive system is opening a museum dedicated to the spongy, cream-filled American snack cake. "I've got all these completely undigested Twinkies inside me," the water-extracting organ told reporters today. "They're exactly the same as they were 20 years ago. Now that Hostess is going out of business, it's my responsibility preserve this part of American culture forever. And, let's face it, Twinkies are not hard to preserve." Pigeon Forge officials agreed. "Jacob Bicknese's colon is a treasure trove of undigested food-like substances," said Pigeon Forge Mayor David Wear. "His digestive tract is littered with the remains of potted meat and convenience store staples. This museum is a testament to America's rich culinary heritage. We're lucky to have it."

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