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November 4, 2012

Man narrowly escapes from area conversation

A 27-year-old Knoxville man narrowly escaped from a mind-numbing conversation Saturday before he succumbed to death by monotony. Ryan Kirby was making small talk at a wedding reception east of Farragut when he accidentally steered into the oncoming path of the tedious discussion. Authorities say Kirby's person ended up trapped at a table with a small plate of hors d'oeuvres beneath the weight of social obligation and an utterly pointless exchange about the pros and cons of toilet training pet cats. Luckily Kirby was pulled to safety by a passing Good Samaritan. "He was doing his best to hide how much pain he was in," said 25-year-old hero Meghan Bedford. "But I knew he needed help - and fast. Thank God I got there in time. I don't think he would have lasted much longer under those conditions."

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