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November 22, 2012

Knoxville man thankful he was able to loosen belt

Following a particularly substantial Thanksgiving Day meal, one Knoxville man is just thankful he was able to successfully remove his belt without injury. Larry Kennedy, 54, sustained multiple blows to his pride today when he realized the challenge he would face loosening his pants after his family's annual turkey dinner. Kennedy discovered the predicament somewhere between his third helping of turkey and his fourth glob of sweet potato casserole. "There were a few moments of panic there," he said. "I couldn't reach my belt for the sizeable girth I acquired during the meal. I sort of had to lie down on the floor and turn sideways. And then the belt wouldn't unlatch. I thought my wife was going to have to feed me right there on the floor. Thank God for scissors." Kennedy later announced that he will not be wearing pants when he goes for thirds of dessert.

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