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November 18, 2012

Derek Dooley joins 'brotherhood of traveling orange pants'

Following a stunning 41-18 blowout at the hands of the Vanderbilt Commodores Saturday, University of Tennessee head coach Derek Dooley has joined the brotherhood of the traveling orange pants. Dooley was hired to coach the Vols in 2010 after professional narcissist Lane Kiffin abruptly resigned and took a job at the University of Southern California. As the team's new leader, Dooley discovered a pair of magical orange pants that had been able to fit several other former Tennessee coaches, even though their losing seasons were all different shapes and sizes. The brotherhood of the traveling orange pants remains a touching coming of age fashion statement that has included Johnny Majors, Phil Fulmer, and basketball coach Bruce Pearl as they have dealt with issues in their personal lives as well as the stress of not living up to Tennessee fans' expectations. Dooley and his enchanted trousers will join the elite fraternity effective immediately.

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