October 2, 2012
Dexter to kill off people who leaked season 6 'Dexter' spoilers
Fictional serial killer Dexter Morgan has announced plans to execute individuals who divulged season 6 spoilers during the current 7th season of his popular Showtime series. Morgan recently heard the cry of innocents who had the ending of season 6 spoiled for them before they had finished watching it on DVD by people who are inconsiderate sea donkeys. The imaginary blood spatter analyst agreed that such behavior is inexcusable. "Season 6 was only released on DVD in mid-August," said Morgan. "Not everyone has Showtime, you know. And Netflix has perpetually had a very long queue wait since then. Needless to say, my Dark Passenger doesn't care about criminals anymore. Now he's just interested in lamewads who don't know how to keep their mouths shut. And I am more than happy to indulge him." Morgan also said he plans to eliminate Jenna Maroney from "30 Rock" for not going away already.
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