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September 16, 2012

Neyland Stadium to build new skyboxes out of Tennessee fans' crushed hopes and dreams

The University of Tennessee announced today that it will add new skyboxes to Neyland Stadium, to be built entirely from the crushed hopes and dreams of Vols fans. The 12-month, $4.2 million construction project will add three floors to the stadium's current skyboxes, including two floors of lease suites. The skyboxes will be unique in that they will be built from a wholly renewable resource: the deflated hopes of Tennessee football fans. That lost hope will be mixed with despair, misery, despondency, rage, gloom and tears, creating a mixture suitable for the construction project. The inspiration for the building came from Tennessee's 20-37 loss to Florida last night, according to project developer Arthur Ainsworth of the Ainsworth Sustainability Development Company. "Tennessee's eighth consecutive loss to Florida is the earth's gain," said Ainsworth.

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