East Tennessee woman ponders leisurely nap on public safety net

A Knoxville woman today plans to take a relaxing afternoon snooze on the public safety net after first enjoying a free steak dinner and back massage provided by the federal government. "Mitt Romney is right," said single mother of two Debbie Jenkins. "It's so easy being a poor, entitled moocher. I mean with all the safety nets and everything. I actually wish I had even less money so I could be very poor and then I would be able to just lounge on my safety net all day long. I bet it's a lot like lounging in a hammock. Maybe in a few weeks I can get someone from the government to carry me to into the voting booth so I can vote for Barack Obama."