Man with sword attacks naked man with chainsaw

A sword-wielding Oak Ridge man is in police custody this morning after he allegedly attacked a Knox County man who was cutting up trees in the nude. Witnesses say Jason Bixby, 32, Oak Ridge, was riding through Knoxville on a John Deere lawnmower he referred to as Rocinante. After spotting the naked 46-year-old Eric Oliver cutting trees with a chainsaw, Bixby allegedly stabbed the nudist lumberjack with his sword. "He was yelling something about Sancho Panzo sleeping with his Dulcinea," said Kimberly Meeks, who witnessed the altercation. "I'm not sure what that means. I guess maybe it's from a country song." Meeks said Bixby was then himself shot by a man with a crossbow who said he hunting meteorologists. "East Tennessee has gotten too weird for me," said Meeks. "I'm moving back to Texas as soon as I can." Bixby was spotted Sunday attacking the Sunsphere near downtown Knoxville, which he claimed was a windmill.