Area man still trying to find way out of UT Medical Center

A Knoxville man is still trying to find his way the hell out of UT Medical Center.

John Swank, 42, has been attempting to exit the vast labyrinth of winding corridors that is the University of Tennessee Medical Center and to subsequently locate his vehicle for nearly a decade now. He entered the medical compound shortly after the Florida Marlins won the World Series in 2003.

"I was visiting my brother to take him some food after he had surgery," wept an exhausted, confused Swank. "That was so long ago. He's probably already home by now. Nothing here makes any sense. All the hallways and entrances look the same. Good God, can someone please help me?"

After visiting with his brother and sister-in-law for a few minutes, Swank quietly attempted to walk back to the visitor's parking lot where he left his vehicle. But he quickly became lost in the medical center's endless maze of passageways.

"I had cleverly left a trail of breadcrumbs behind me when I came in because I was afraid of something like this happening," said Swank. "But when I came out they had been eaten a janitor. I knew I was in trouble then."

Swank has spent most of his time looking for a way out of the hospital. But he has had several adventures as well. He stumbled into Narnia briefly in 2006 when he put the task of finding an exit on hold to go to the bathroom. There he helped four children and some talking animals defeat a white witch. Last year he killed the Minotaur hiding in the labyrinth near the Bilo Spencer Nelson Lobby.

But for all that, now he just wants to find his car.

"If only I had had a cell phone when I came in here," he said. "Once I asked a nurse for directions, but I ended up in Philadelphia. Just how big is this place anyway?"

"I really hope I can find my way out in time to see my daughter graduate high school," he added. "She was two when I came in here."