May 22, 2011
Jesus totally forgets to schedule rapture on Google calendar
An apologetic Prince of Peace announced today that he completely forgot about yesterday's rapture. The event was scheduled to occur by radio broadcaster and president of Family Radio Harold Camping. Had the rapture taken place, untold Dispensationalist Premillennialists would have ascended into the heavens, leaving the clothes off their backs and their "Left Behind" novels abandoned on the earth. "Harold e-mailed me about it a few times," said Jesus of Nazareth. "I got the first e-mail, but the rest went into my spam folder. So unfortunately I didn't get it added to my Google calendar. What does he expect? Who still uses an AOL e-mail address? He probably still has dial-up, too. I guess he should have sold some of those billboards and given the money to the poor."
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