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December 24, 2010

Basil Marceaux rescued from North Knoxville chimney

NORTH KNOXVILLE--Failed Tennessee gubernatorial candidate, media sensation and international man of mystery Basil Marceaux was freed from a chimney in the Edgewood neighborhood early this morning.

Police responded to a call from a homeowner on Edgewood Avenue at about 1:30 a.m. The resident, Amanda Housewright, reported hearing strange noises coming from her chimney.

"I'm normally a pretty sound sleeper, so I wasn't sure why I woke up," said Housewright. "After I got my bearings, I realized there was someone in my chimney singing about honey baked hams. That didn't seem like the kind of person who would rob and kill me, but I called the police to be on the safe side."

Responding officers found a pair of legs dangling out of Housewright's chimney. After prying the beefy thighs loose, police recognized the intruder as Marceaux dressed in a Santa Claus costume.

"I'd know Basil Marceaux anywhere," said officer Jacob Davidson. "I voted for him. And Knoxville police have been protecting him for months from the same men who shot Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King Jr."

Police also found a sleigh, several reindeer, a list labeled "naughty," a bag of toys and a Winchester rifle on the roof of Housewright's home, fueling speculation that Marceaux may either be Santa Claus, or that he may be running for the office in 2012. It is unknown why he would climb down a chimney the night before Christmas Eve.

Marceaux became a national celebrity earlier this year when his Republican gubernatorial campaign video became a viral hit. Marceaux's campaign was featured on "The Colbert Report," and the candidate himself appeared on "Jimmy Kimmel Live." Though he failed to become Tennessee's next governor, he received 3,508 votes. He currently has a Christmas song available for download on iTunes. He enjoys the second amendment and sausage.

Marceaux was sent on his way by police and told not to enter any more chimneys without permission. Marceaux vowed to turn his attention to gunning down mistletoe.

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1 Comment

Were they real reindeer? Or goats with taped on antlers?