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November 28, 2010

McGhee Tyson to dip passengers into vat of acid during security screenings

ALCOA--The Transportation Security Administration will implement new security measures at McGhee Tyson Airport beginning this week. Following on the heels of TSA's use of full body scanner machines and more invasive pat-down searches, airport security officials will now dip all boarding passengers into a vat of corrosive acid. The acid is designed to completely burn away all clothing and skin, which authorities hope will reveal any hidden weapons. "This new technology is one of our many layers of security to keep the traveling public safe," said a TSA spokesman. "The acid is an important tool to help TSA detect hidden and dangerous items such as explosives. Passengers should continue to expect an unpredictable mix of security layers that include bomb sniffing crocodiles, maternal guilt trips and being punched in the face if you look like a terrorist."

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